October 30, 2008

no on 8

Posted in uncategorized at 10:27 pm by Marise Phillips

**names have been changed to protect the innocent**

Hi Dean,

I noticed Melanie was supporting Prop 8. Since you and I are the ones with the past friendship, I didn’t feel right writing to her about this. But assuming that you agree with her (and my apologies if you do not) I thought maybe I could persuade you to spare a few more moments in reflection about this issue.

I wanted to share some relevant quotes from CA newspapers, which pretty well sum up my thoughts about Prop 8:

“Even people with reservations about same-sex marriage should consider the import of voting against a legal right.”

“Please note that Proposition 8 makes no mention of changes to the curriculum taught in classrooms or to the tax-exemption status of churches.”

“It is contradictory and hypocritical to stand as an American and talk about the foundation of equality, tolerance and fairness of the nation, and then to turn our backs on other citizens who are equally entitled.”

As you may know, Prop 8 is primarily funded by the LDS, which is headquartered in Utah. To my mind, non-Californians shouldn’t be able to come in and change our state’s constitution, right?

Most importantly, though, this is about real people. I am friends with 6 long-standing same-sex couples who got legally married recently, and who would lose fundamental rights of survivorship, medical visitation, etc. if Prop 8 were to be passed. One of these couples has been together for 18 years.

I know there’s probably not a huge chance of me being able to change your mind on this, but it is something so important to me and some of the people I care about, that I would be grateful if you were at least willing to think about it a bit more.

Take care,

October 15, 2008

sex, drugs & chuck klosterman

Posted in aging, divorce, movie review, nostalgia at 9:33 pm by Marise Phillips

i started reading his book — you know, that one with the cocoa puffs in it — and i felt too old for it in some ways, yet the perfect age for it in others. especially when he goes off on how all the women he’s known, born anytime between like 1965 and 1975 (I’m paraphrasing, but my year was in there,) are in love with john cusack.

i’m not, not with him specifically, but the more i thought about chuck’s argument, that pop culture has ruined real life, because it makes us mere humans believe we can attain perfect love, symbolized by that scene in say anything where lloyd dobler serenades ione skye with his boombox in the rain. the sad point that chuck is trying to make is that regular real life can never measure up to what we see in movies.

and i know what he means. i’ve been there, i still have to struggle to drag myself out of that, those dreams of true love and happily ever after, riding off into the sunset. and it’s at once horrifying and also okay.

tonight, i watched before sunset and despite all my assumptions that it would suck (eg it could never be as good as my faint happy memory of before sunrise, etc), that i was too much older than the characters to take anything they had to say seriously, etc etc… i was pleasantly surprised.

1, i’m only a couple years older than they are in real life (maybe 3-4 yrs older than their characters); and

2, their love lives — both when they met and in the interim — share certain themes with mine.

Case in point, Ethan/Jesse’s line:

I don’t want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52, falling down into tears, admitting that they never really loved their spouse, and they feel that their life has been suck– sucked up into… a… vacuum cleaner. You know, I want to have a great life. I want her to have a great life. She deserves that. All right? But we’re just living in a pretense of a marriage, responsibility, of all these — just these ideas of how people are supposed to live.

Oh. Oh yes, I know that one. And I gotta say, it sounded both weaselly and fucking true, in equal measures. It made me feel just that little bit more serene about where I’ve been and how I’ve gotten to today.