June 9, 2006

For balance

Posted in divorce, nostalgia at 8:49 am by Marise Phillips

Many of the revelations in my last post come from mixing a half-pound of hindsight, a soupcon of self-flagellation, and a dash of exaggeration.

Here are some of the positive reasons I fell in love with, and wanted to marry, my ex:

  • He was more intelligent than anyone I’d ever dated before, without having that anti-social weirdness that so many super-smart people tend to have.
  • We could talk for hours about all manner of subjects, profound and ridiculous.
  • He was a rugged outdoorsman and loved skiing, camping, hiking and mountain climbing – all of which had a very positive effect on me and my fitness level.
  • He loved food and wine, and learned so much about that latter that he began making it himself.
  • He’d worked with developmentally disabled adults for half a dozen years before I met him, and had heartbreaking and honest stories to tell about the experience. I deeply respected his drive to better the lives of others.
  • He was sensitive, romantic and gave the best gifts of anyone I’ve ever known. For the second-to-last birthday of mine we spent together, he surprised me with round trip tickets to Paris.
  • He loved animals (almost) as much as I do, and we were quickly able to agree on the kind and number of dogs we wanted to have and when we wanted to get them.
  • We had a ball raising and training our two pug puppies, and were equally shattered by the loss of Chloe the baby black pug when she died on the table during her spay operation.
  • We both wanted children very much, and had similar values with regard to childrearing.
  • He was unaccountably kind to my parents and had a fabulous extended family, who were lovely enough to take us all in under their wings.
  • He loved me more than any man ever had, and probably ever will.

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