January 11, 2000

Stuff I Excelled At (as a kid)

Posted in uncategorized at 11:10 am by riseyp

Babyhood

Sculpture – my preferred medium was crackers. I would moisten them a bit, then mix them into my hair. I invented the soggy-saltine-mohawk that eventually inspired the classic punkrawk hit “Baldies Ain’t Allowed…In Mohawk Town”

Climbing – my earliest memory involves sneaking out of my crib for a banana. My mom said she caught me on top of the fridge once. But I knew where they hid the booze!

Peeing – my parents dubbed me “Pee-Pee Dirl” thanks to my habit of wetting my bed, crawling into bed with them, wetting their ed, then wetting the couch while they fumbled around for yet another new diaper.

to be continued…

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